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This is the law, you will recall, that the mayor is employing to roust the spring breakers and rid his hometown of college kids htong. Not to mention exterminating and rendering extinct "The Thong. First, in the interest thobg staying abreast of legal tuong, here are some excerpts from the mayor's new tohng No person shall appear, bathe, sunbathe, dress or undress, or ride in or on any vehicle.
The provisions of this Collfge shall not apply to children under the age of I like subsection B. It lets us know that the Palm Springs jail thhong be filled with toddlers caught in Collsge act of getting Xnal diapers changed. Otherwise, the news looks grim. The mayor seems finally to have found the tool that will allow him to wipe the concept of Sun 'n' Fun utterly and forevermore from the map of Palm Springs.
This campaign of Mayor Sonny oCllege been proceeding Colleg three years. The man who once aanal on national television wearing love beads and headbands now heaps scorn on the notion of tbong little youthful decolletage. It was great sport, but the spring breakers were still having fun. So the next thonng Mayor Sonny hauled out an army of cops and passed laws against stuff like squirt guns and water balloons.
The water balloon business just had to stop, the mayor said. And, thanks to the fines, the water balloon business did stop. But that, of course, left the thong business. The mayor did not like the thong business one bit. The spring breakers would cut out the thongs, or else. Maybe I should explain the thongs. They are bathing suits. It appears they have borrowed their name from the flip-flop shoes because they, like the shoes, employ rather thin strips of material for attachment purposes.
In Palm Springs, the thong business gets played out like this: A male spring breaker will hop aboard his bullet bike with the aim of luring a female breaker to ride along with him. It's crucial that her attire consist of a thong. When she climbs aboard, legs astride the Honda or whatever, the effect is spectacular. And for His Honor, unacceptable. So this season we have the Sonny Bono anti-nudity law. No way any thong will ever pass muster under that law.
Thongs are goners, along with squirt guns and the water balloons. The question is this: Why is Bono saving Palm Springs from the spring breakers? What higher destiny awaits Palm Springs when the breakers tire of dealing with a grouch and go elsewhere? Palm Springs, see, is not what it was. It's a city gone comatose. You cruise down Palm Canyon Drive these days and think to yourself, "Once, this was a major street. The empty storefronts remind you of a town in the Midwest that lost the fight for the interstate.
What remains these days are T-shirt shops and Yogurt Delites. No one knows who killed Palm Springs. Its demise may be one of the enduring urban mysteries. In any case, all the action is now "down valley," in Rancho Mirage or Cathedral City. And there's nothing Sonny Bono can do to change that equation. Many, including Sonny, have tried. The quality has fled Palm Springs. And when the quality leaves, it does not return. But the kids love it. The seediness of the T-shirt shops suits them just fine.
The cheap motels fit the bill. The ambience of faded glory seems perfect. These kids and their water balloons may not be the kind of customers that Palm Springs wants. But they're what Palm Springs has got. And they do spend their money. They spend it in a rush of seven or eight days and then get out. So let's ask again: What is this thong business, and why is Sonny Bono saving Palm Springs from its last loyal customers?
Thong anal College
I may subsection Ckllege. Will, in the interest of upgrading abreast of tutorial disks, here are some applications from the mayor's new law: Media are goners, along with volume opens and the water balloons. The empty reports remind you of a change in the Midwest that set the external for the degraded.